No words...

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” -Elizabeth Stone

There are no words to describe how much I love these boys.

 

I had no idea. Before I had kids I had no idea how profound my love for them would be. I've heard people talk about it, but I couldn't help feeling like no one told me or warned me. I know now that it is because there are no words to describe it and no measure to compare it to. It's just not something a person is capable of understanding until they are holding their baby and experiencing it.

When Kellan was born, I was completely overwhelmed by how fiercely I loved him. I have never loved anything more in my life so intensely. The enormity of it scared me. It still scares me. I couldn't imagine loving anyone or anything else anywhere near as much as I loved him. His birth was when my eyes were truly opened to what real, raw, unconditional love is and I realized, to my horror, how absolutely devastating it would be if anything happened to him and why my mom was so "ridiculously overprotective" of me. I get the term "mama bear" now, when before I thought it was just cutesy. It's very real and quite descriptive of how fiercely a mama protects her babies.

When I was pregnant with Aven, like most 2nd time mamas, I still worried that I couldn't love another child like I did my first. I couldn't imagine that it was possible. It seems silly now that I worried about that because as soon as he was born, I felt that exact same fierce, intense love for him too. It was no different and no less and just as overwhelming as it was with his brother.

 

Several of my friends, now pregnant with their 2nd child, ask "Will I love this baby as much as my first?" You will. I promise you, you will. Just like you couldn't prepare for how much you loved your first baby, it will blindside you and overwhelm you and sweep you off your feet and bring you to tears because of its enormity. There is nothing sweeter.

APRIL FOOL'S!

I just finished putting together Chase's April Fool's joke for tomorrow. He is spending the night tonight and is SO excited about tomorrow being April Fool's, so I had to do something! Now I wish I had taken pictures of it, but oh well...

He takes a morning snack to school every day, usually either these Keebler Bug Bites (little graham crackers), Scooby Snacks, or a Rice Krispy treat. I opened up a bag of Scooby Snacks on the seam, poured them into a ziploc, and then rinsed out and dried the Scooby Snacks bag, filled it with colored Goldfish then resealed it on the seam with a glue stick, so it looks like it's never been opened.

Then I opened a bag of Doritos on the seam and dumped the chips into a Ziploc, rinsed and dried that bag and put the Scooby Snacks bag w/the Goldfish inside it. In the Doritos bag, there is a big note that says "APRIL FOOL'S! Have a great day! We love you! Love, Jim, Erin, and Kellan" stuck to the Scooby Snacks bag and inside the Scooby Snacks bag with the Goldfish, I slipped another note that says "APRIL FOOL'S AGAIN!" He's going to freak out, LOL.